The spirit of the retarded monkey boy has been trapped in a clay pot and tossed into a river in northern Thailand after being cursed by hundreds of farmers protesting US agriculture policy
A group of men out hunting moose in the eastern Norwegian valley called Oesterdalen had a close encounter with a pack of wolves last Saturday. They snapped digital photos and experts now say the wolves constitute a new family
The US Supreme Court has agreed to step into a fight over how the country’s government can protect children from online porn without resorting to unconstitutional censorship
The Victorian Government is working to close a loophole which has allowed some parents use their children to claim the $7,000 first home buyers grant
US soldiers driving bulldozers, with jazz blaring from loudspeakers, have uprooted ancient groves of date palms as well as orange and lemon trees in central Iraq as part of a new policy of collective punishment of farmers who do not give information about guerrillas attacking US troops
A Dutch consumer watchdog demanded Nokia conduct an in-depth investigation after two Nokia mobile phones exploded, injuring their owners, in the Netherlands within a few months
Coles Myer has followed Telstra’s lead and begun flirting with open-source software, such as Linux, as the retailer rationalises its IT operations. Even Microsoft is toying with a licensing scheme similar to an open-source arrangement for one of its code libraries
Seventeen conservation and wildlife protection groups filed suit this week to challenge the federal decision to lower the status of the gray wolf from endangered to threatened in the lower-48 states. The decision would also ultimately hand over species management to state governments, at least one of which has called for extermination of the species
In the tradition of the Rosetta Project, is an example of many translations of the incredibly useful phrase: Oh my god! There’s an axe in my head
.
French: Mon dieu! Il y a une hache dans ma tete.
Visigothic: Meina guth, Ikgastaldan aqizi-wunds meina haubida
Latin: Deus Meus! Securis in capite meo est.
German: Oh mein Gott! Ich habe eine Axt im Kopf!
Japanese: ahh, kamisama! watashi no atama ni ono ga arimasu.
Maori: Ave Te Ariki! He toki ki roto taku mahuna!
Italian: Dio mio! C’e’ un’ ascia nella mia testa!
Or you could try I can eat glass, it doesn’t hurt me
.
US spies have found weapons of mass destruction at last — on a remote Scottish island. Managers at the Bruichladdich Distillery on the Hebridian island of Islay, famous for producing Scotland’s best malt whisky, were puzzled when they received an e-mail from ‘Ursula’, asking them to repair their webcam that broadcasts scenes from the Victorian distillery to whisky lovers around the world. After inquiring, they found that Ursula was a spy with the US Defence Threat Reduction Agency
Cyberspace users in India are up in arms against the government. For the first time since the Information Technology Act, 2000, was introduced, the government has banned a site, Yahoo Groups, for publishing anti-government material. Many netizens believe the government is trying to gag the Internet, a medium for free flow of information
Iraq was in effect put up for sale when the American-appointed administration announced it was opening up all sectors of the economy to foreign investors in a desperate attempt to deliver much-needed reconstruction against a daily backdrop of kidnappings, looting and violent death
The WTO has agreed to give poor countries greater access to inexpensive lifesaving medicine by altering international trade rules
US Trade officials have backed off from a tough line on music, movie and software piracy, admitting that shoehorning Australia into a copyright regime based on criminal law may be a bridge too far
Remember back in May I had my number plates stolen off my car? Well this morning as I was leaving for work a detective called me to arrange for a time for me to give a statement about it. Yes that’s right, we are in August — plates stolen in May, so that’s roughly 1, 2, 3 months since the incident.
Okay, so the police have better things to do with their time, I understand that. I just don’t exactly understand what else I could possibly tell them. I parked my car here. I came back to car after work and found plates gone. Um — gone, yeah, you know as in no longer there. Yep, both of them. Front and back. Stolen — ’cause I don’t remember putting them in my pocket, or setting them down anywhere… I mean I checked behind the couch, and like in between the cushions, in jacket pockets, but they were really gone man.
Okay, now I’m being stupid.
On a similar car-like tangent, my condolences to Simone’s car, who after a couple of weeks undergoing repairs from an unfortunate accident, has been involved in another accident. From what I hear the owner of Simone’s car is okay, and still has full control of her swearing faculties. Yes Simone, it is a sign for both of us, and yes, the rest of the world can fuck off now. * Fuck-tards!
* Word thieved from Dave.
Cambodia’s Ministry of Tourism is drawing up grandiose plans to upgrade the final stronghold of the Khmer Rouge into a million-dollar theme park
A word of advice to prospective car thieves — look INSIDE the car before breaking in otherwise you could find yourself wasting time and effort. I say this because my car got broken into while it was parked at Holsworthy station. I’m a 23 year old web designer, so it’s not like I keep valuables in the car, due to my inadequate salary and lack of stupidity, (my stupidity may or may not be questioned due to my chosen profession).
The contents of my car consisted of the following: copied audio cds (that you can’t even sell), street directory (I think you can get five bucks for it at a second hand book store), a second hand sherlock holmes novel, some hair elastics, screws (my dad had my car for a couple of days while my number plates got stolen from same station), 20 cents (which theives left behind), a black furry scarf, a lilacy-silvery scarf and a gargole dangling from the rear vision mirror. The only thing worth taking from my car is the cd player, which from this experience has proven to be quite immoveable. Not a scratch on it. I suppose I should be happy they didn’t/couldn’t take the whole car.
My car is an Astra, it’s a nice car, (mind you I say this as my previous car was a purple girly charade, which is a car with character), and it’s not even a year old yet, so I can see how a prospective theif (who from here on in will be refered to as fuckwit), would think woo hoo! Goodies mate!! Now I can get me some winnie bloose
. winnie bloose = Winfield Blue (cigarette brand of choice of the discerning fuckwit yobbo from the west. Mullet optional). Well, they were very fucking wrong now weren’t they. One would think that my gargolye, black furry stuff and second hand book would’ve given them a clue as to the highly unlikely possibility of my car containing anything worth smashing windows for. Yes, yes I know, the CD player you dickhead, or the car, but fuck man! Even a fuckwit has to have standards and an effort to loot ratio to follow. How else are they going to be able to get as many cartons of winnie bloose
as possible?
Two other people had their cars broken into this evening from the same station. Police have said something along the lines of surveillence cameras that are monitored, but I don’t think the fuckwit or wits in question will be caught or charged.
After having two badges and both number plates taken over the past few months, I have decided to end my affiliation with Holsworthy station. I highly recommend that others do the same.
The Federal Trade Commission has filed suit against GoInternet.net, charging that it hawks Web presence over the phone and then assesses its targets on their phone bill without their authorisation
The lawless Mexican border town of Juarez is no stranger to death. Fiefdom of the infamous narco-trafficante ‘Lord of the Skies’, its fortunes are built on hard drugs and cheap labour. But now an even more ruthless menace stalks its dusty streets.
There is a new word spoken in Ciudad Juarez: Feminocidio — feminocide, the mass slaughter of women. There is no other word to describe what is happening: some 340 young women found murdered since 1992 in much the same manner as Sagrario, and a further 180 or so missing
Thirty years after a bunch of hippies brought flower power to bear on a plan for a military camp in southern France, 100,000 ecologists and campaigners against global trade rules returned to the site yesterday for a festival aimed at putting the world to rights. The militant farmers’ leader José Bové was at Larzac then, and he is there now
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