Rock Paper Scissors / Eric Karjala

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there’s no fucking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell can’t paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can’t paper do this to people? Why aren’t sheets of college-ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I’ll tell you why, because paper can’t beat anybody, a rock would tear that paper up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say Oh shit, I’m sorry, I thought paper would protect you — via Fail Blog

How The So-Called Guardians Of Free Speech Are Silencing The Messenger

As the United States and Britain look for an excuse to invade another oil-rich Arab country, the hypocrisy is familiar. Colonel Gaddafi is delusional and blood-drenched while the authors of an invasion that killed a million Iraqis, who have kidnapped and tortured in our name, are entirely sane, never blood-drenched and once again the arbiters of stability.

But something has changed. Reality is no longer what the powerful say it is. Of all the spectacular revolts across the world, the most exciting is the insurrection of knowledge sparked by WikiLeaks. This is not a new idea. In 1792, the revolutionary Tom Paine warned his readers in England that their government believed that people must be hoodwinked and held in superstitious ignorance by some bugbear or other. Paine’s The Rights of Man was considered such a threat to elite control that a secret grand jury was ordered to charge him with a dangerous and treasonable conspiracy. Wisely, he sought refuge in France — via redwolf.newsvine.com

Hitchhiker’s Guide Tattoos

Love these (sadly unattributed) Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy tattoos. Illustrating the flowerpot/whale scene is particularly poignant, as it is perhaps the most humorously existential moment in one of the great existential comedies of all time — via Boing Boing

Fear Mongering and Delusional Piracy Report Upsets Aussies

A new study commissioned by several entertainment industry outfits made the rounds in the Australian news yesterday. It claims that illicit movie, music and games downloads cost the industry $900 million a year as well as 8,000 jobs and that an increase in broadband adoption could propel the losses to a staggering $5.2 billion in the next five years. However, it looks like the public isn’t buying it, figuratively speaking — via redwolf.newsvine.com

Google trots out Gmail feature to auto-label

Google will start a public test of a new Gmail feature that will automatically label certain types of mass and automated e-mail so that users can more easily recognize and assign proper priority to them.

The idea is to make the Gmail inbox more organized and help users more quickly distinguish these types of messages from other more personal ones that are sent to them exclusively and that may be more important.

The feature is called Smart Labels and needs to be activated from the Labs tab on the Gmail Settings section of the account. When it’s on, Smart Labels creates three labels called Bulk, Forums and Notifications, Google announced on Wednesday — via redwolf.newsvine.com

Eric Clapton auctions dozens of guitars for charity

British rock legend Eric Clapton parted with 70 of his guitars in a charity auction that drew hundreds of fans and aficionados, and broke sale estimates.

Clapton’s 1948 Gibson hollow body guitar on Wednesday brought in $83,000, making it the most expensive item in the auction. Its estimated value stood at $30,000.

Most items sold for much higher than estimated by Bonhams auction house — via redwolf.newsvine.com