Dell Won’t Help Customers Remove Spyware

Dell has issued a memo to its tech-support staff, telling them not to help Dell customers remove spyware from their systems. Dell has decided that its duty to its users is superceded by its duty to upholding contracts that you sign when you click on the I agree button after downloading software, contracts in which you promise to allow spyware to be installed on your machine, and promise not to try to remove it

How the Brent Stole Christmas

I hate the whole decoration part of Christmas, bring on the food and presents, but the stupid seasonal clothing and silly hats of family are difficult enough to tolerate for one day. Having to endure the same insanity at your place of employment for an entire month is a form of torture

Foot in Mouth and Bad Sex in Fiction Awards

A comment last year by Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld on the hunt for Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction was awarded the Foot in Mouth prize by Britain’s Plain English Campaign; ‘Reports that say something hasn’t happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns — the ones we don’t know we don’t know.’ Aniruddha Bahal, an Indian investigative journalist, won Britain’s little-coveted Bad Sex in Fiction Award for a turbo-charged account of a lovers’ tryst that likens their amours to a speeding Bugatti sports car

Perl Advent Calendar

Everyone who uses Perl should be reading the Perl Advent Calendar during Saturnalia. Behind each pixelated cardboard door is an education in using a CPAN module to get the most out your time. Topics covered so far include security, aspect-oriented programming, and validating web forms

Escape from Woomera

Escape from Woomera is a first-person video strategy game, based on Half-Life, in which you play a refugee in the notorious Australian detention centre. The idea is to call attention to the deplorable state of Woomera and the inherent cruelty of the detention process

Name That War

Nicholas Kristof offered the prize of an Iraqi 250-dinar note with Saddam’s picture for the best name for the Iraq conflict. Many imaginative suggestions rolled in, including; ‘I Waged Two Wars Against Saddam and All I Got Was His Headache’, ‘Visit Scenic Saddam and Gomorrah’, ‘Operation Gee Whiz, This Liberation Thing Seemed a Lot Easier When We Were Drawing It Up Back at the Think Tank’, ‘Mission Implausible: A Job Well Spun’, ‘The War That Cried Wolfowitz’, ‘War of Mass Deception’, ‘Dubya Dubya III’, ‘Mess in Potamia’ and ‘Blood, Baath and Beyond’ — via The Green Man

Opposition Leader Urgently Required

The Fairfax run MyCareer site ran an amusing ad yesterday looking for an Opposition Leader: ‘The successful applicant for this excellent short-term executive position must be thick skinned, opinionated and willing to be stabbed in the back. Prior experience in this type of role, including head-kicking and some leadership skills an advantage, though not mandatory. This bright and energetic role model will receive a generous package that includes travel at taxpayer’s expense with the unlikely possibility of promotion in the near future. For immediate start, prefer debater with knack for circular arguments. Previous applicants will be considered.’ Mark Latham won and has immediately followed the tried and true Labor approach of toadying up to Howard

Dark Matter Flowchart

Hogblog leads us to the dark matter flowchart, laying out explicitly and definitively for all time the intricate nexus linking elementary particle physics with cosmology. It was designed, around 1986, by a group of Princeton graduate students who have now gone on to (arguably) greater glory elsewhere

Technology

New Flaws Reported in IE6

Newly discovered security flaws in Microsoft’s Internet Explorer could let attackers invade a user’s personal computer, but a fix is not yet available

Geeky Gifts

Not many keyboard jockeys could go past a keyboard key pendant.

Thinkgeek is overflowing with wonderful geeky stuff, but their James Bond Stealth Camera is worth pointing out. It’s a teeny digital camera in a Zippo case.

Then there’s the Digital Sundial. Placed on the inside of a north-facing window (south-facing in the northern hemisphere), the sundial can be read through the horizontal mirror. The display updates every ten minutes, and gives a remarkably accurate record of the time during the daylight hours.

Or maybe you’d prefer a crocheted tea cozy for your laptop in red go-faster stripes.

And not to leave out the kiddies, let them create their own fantasy pet with the Discovery Kids Ultimate Labs DNA Explorer. If you get one of these, it’d suggest keeping your junior Einstein away from small pets and younger siblings.