Weird

UFO-02 Detector / George Takei

I purchased this gizmo to play a prank on my husband Brad, who still prattles on about his fourth-kind encounter when he was just thirteen. (The 4th kind involves a probe, if you’re wondering. I keep saying it was likely his redneck neighbor dressed as ET, but that possibility is too dreadful for him to truly accept.)

On the anniversary of Brad’s alleged abduction, I placed the device by our bedside, then set-up an electromagnetic wave generator under the bed, with a timer to go off right at midnight. (If you’re wondering where to get one, I recommend the Skymall Catalog. I also picked up some Motivational posters and fake garden rock speakers to save on shipping. You’re welcome.)

But back to my prank. It was all set to go, and I was as giddy as a six year old waiting for Santa. But like a typical six year old, I fell asleep before the damn thing went off. I awoke to the flashing of multiple LEDs from the UFO-02 Detector, and bolted up, eager to see Brad’s petrified face. Aha!

But Brad wasn’t there.

In fact, I wasn’t even in our bedroom any more. Instead, I stood face-to-face with Leonardo da Vinci. Or perhaps it was Professor Dumbledore, I’m not really certain. In either event, It was a manifestation that the being I shall call the Intelligence had determined my brain would most easily accept for deliverance of The Message.

You see, the Intelligence had come to convey to us humans that the Imperative was nigh, that what we loosely dub the Singularity was only the beginning of a limitless existence unbounded by physical space and time, and that sugar-free alternatives are actually WORSE for us than the real deal. He made sure that last point was clear by making me repeat it twice.

When I came to, Brad was sound asleep in his tin foil hat, the UFO-02 detector was gone, and, sure enough, all of my Splenda had been replaced with little, brown raw sugar packets. When I tried to tell Brad about Leonardo/Dumbledore and The Message, he rolled over away from me, grumbling that I shouldn’t eat so much ice cream or any dairy product before bed.

by the always awesome George Takei — via Amazon

Weird

Premier Inn guest Joseph Small hurled racist abuse with fire extinguisher hose up his bottom

A hotel guest emerged naked from a storage cupboard of a Premier Inn with a fire extinguisher hose up his bottom, a court was told.

Joseph Small, 20, stripped off and grabbed the appliance on the fourth floor corridor of the budget hotel.

He then put the hose between his buttocks and began touching himself, Westminster magistrates’ court heard.

Small also urinated on the carpet before a hotel worker wrapped him in a towel and escorted him down to reception.

He then hurled abuse at the Bangladeshi member of staff, telling him: This country has been taken over by al-Qaeda — go back to Pakistan.

In the lobby, Small again urinated in front of tourists, shouting: I come from Sheffield in England.

He caused £450 damage, the court was told — via redwolf.newsvine.com

Weird

Glasgow Duke of Wellington statue to keep traffic-cone hat as residents give jokers the thumbs-up

Scotland’s biggest city Glasgow has dropped plans to lift up a statue to stop jokers putting traffic cones on its head, after more than 10,000 people signed a petition in protest.

The city’s council had planned to spend 65,000 pounds ($111,700) to lift the plinth of the Duke of Wellington statue, located at Royal Exchange Square.

Erected in central Glasgow in 1844, the statue shows the 19th-century British war hero sitting proudly on his horse, but students and revellers regularly delight in placing a bright orange traffic cone on his head.

The council said the tradition gave the city a depressing image.

It said that by raising the plinth to 1.8 metres, it would deter all but the most determined of vandals.

But with typical Glaswegian humour, more than 10,000 people signed an online petition describing the practice of placing a cone on the duke’s head as a cherished cultural tradition — via redwolf.newsvine.com

Weird

Bland Shire in NSW invited to join international league with towns Dull and Boring

A local council in the central west of New South Wales has been invited to take the next step in establishing a Dull and Boring tourism partnership.

Bland Shire, based in West Wyalong, started exploring potential sister-city relationships with Boring in the United States and Dull in Scotland six months ago.

It has now been invited to join an international league of extraordinary communities with other cities with dreary names.

The towns of Boring and Dull already have a pairing relationship that has led to residents linking up via social media.

Steve Bates of the Boring Community Planning Organisation (BCPO) says after a formal request was received, the idea was put to Dull’s community council.

The BCPO officially formed the league on 5 November and has now extended an invitation to Bland Shire — via redwolf.newsvine.com

Technology, Weird

3D-printed ‘gun part’ are actually spare parts for the printer

Police in Manchester have arrested a man for 3D printing the components to a gun — but some have suggested the objects actually appear to be spare printer parts.

Police raided the home in Baguley, Manchester yesterday, finding what they described as a 3D printer, a plastic magazine and trigger, which could be fitted together to make a viable 3D gun.

It they are found to be viable components for a 3D gun, it would be the first ever seizure of this kind in the UK, the police said in a statement. The parts are now being forensically examined by firearms specialists to establish if they could construct a genuine device.

However, some — including Gigaom — have pointed out that the parts may be more benign, noting the item the police say is a trigger looks similar to part of a component listed on Thingiverse, a database of 3D printable designs — via redwolf.newsvine.com

History, Weird

The Man Who Fought in WWII With a Sword and Bow

Running into battle armed with a broadsword, bow, and quiver of arrows was perfectly acceptable if you were fighting in the Hundred Years’ War or fending off some orcs on Middle Earth. But when it comes to World War II, such medieval weaponry looks like child’s play next to the technology of the time. A sword isn’t the most likely of defences against rifles and tanks. However, for John Malcolm Thorpe Fleming Churchill, nicknamed Mad Jack, there was nothing he’d rather arm himself with than a trusty sword and bow.

Born into an old Oxfordshire family, he graduated from the Royal Military Academy at Sandhurst in 1926. Before his World War II fame, Mad Jack worked as an editor of a Nairobi newspaper, a model, and a movie extra, appearing in The Thief of Bagdad due to his expertise with a bow. That same talent with archery took him to Oslo, Norway where he shot for Britain during the world championships in 1939.

By this time, of course, Europe was fast approaching World War II. Mad Jack had left the army after ten years of service, but happily returned to it because of the country having gotten into a jam in my absence.

By May 1940, Mad Jack was the second in command of an infantry company. He always marched into battle with a bow and arrows and his trusty basket-hilted claymore by his side. Despite these weapons being wildly outdated, Churchill defended them, saying, In my opinion… any officer who goes into action without his sword is improperly dressed — via redwolf.newsvine.com

Weird

Group of observant Brooklyn drug dealers told customers they were closed for Shabbat: authorities

At least they were observant drug dealers, authorities say.

A group of pushers from Sheepshead Bay, Brooklyn, texted their hours to customers and warned that they closed for Shabbat, according to an indictment unsealed Tuesday.

The indictment accuses the five men of conspiracy for sending texts to customers announcing drugs for purchase, such as DOB for the brand name of heroin sold.

And the messages repeatedly warned customers against arriving after sundown on a Friday or before sundown on Saturday, the indictment alleges.

We are closing 7.30 on the dot and we will reopen Saturday 8.15 so if u need anything you have 45 mins to get what you want, an 12 April message to over 50 recipients read.

The men are accused of peddling heroin, oxycodone, cocaine and other drugs from their Bedford Ave. drug warehouse — via redwolf.newsvine.com

Wife arrested for killing cheating husband with coffee cup

A 61-year-old housewife battered her 70-year-old husband to death with a coffee cup after discovering he was cheating on her, reports said Monday.

The woman allegedly attacked her husband after learning of his affair, battering him repeatedly about the face and head with the mug at their home in Isehara, Kanagawa Prefecture, on Sunday afternoon, the Asahi Shimbun and other media reported.

Yasuo Hirose, an honorary professor with Yokohama National University, was taken to hospital but later confirmed dead — via redwolf.newsvine.com

Noisy Cramlington library knitters no longer welcome

A knitting group said it was no longer allowed to meet at a library because its needles are dangerous and its members are too noisy.

The Knit ‘n’ Natter group met at the library in Cramlington, Northumberland once a week to knit replica anatomical parts for training NHS midwives.

But now the library has moved and the knitters said Northumberland County Council had barred them.

The council said there was not enough room for the large group.

But a spokesman said the women were still welcome if they split into smaller groups.

Since the group began three years ago its 20 to 30 members have knitted thousands of garments for premature and sick babies.

They have also made 1,500 pairs of knitted breasts and are currently knitting wombs for midwives — via redwolf.newsvine.com

Jetpack cleared by New Zealand authorities to carry a pilot

The New Zealand makers of a one-person jetpack hope to have it on sale by the middle of next year.

The Martin Aircraft company says its jetpack can reach speeds of up to 70 kilometres per hour and soar 1 kilometre high.

The Christchurch-based firm has been testing its prototype 12 via remote control.

The New Zealand Civil Aviation Authority said the jetpack has now been issued with an experimental flight permit for development test flying, which allows someone to pilot the aircraft.

Martin Aircraft says it has had 10,000 enquiries from people keen to take to the skies, but it is likely to first sell the jetpacks to government and emergency agencies involved in search and rescue and defence.

Chief executive Peter Coker said a simpler model aimed at the general public is expected to be on the market in 2015 — via redwolf.newsvine.com

HIV patients told by Pentecostal pastors to rely on God

Some young HIV patients are giving up their medicine after being told by Pentecostal Church pastors to rely on faith in God instead, doctors warn.

Medical staff told the BBC a minority of pastors in England were endangering young church members by putting them under pressure to stop medication.

Healing is central to Pentecostalism, a radical belief in the power of prayer and miracles.

But one pastor denied people would ever be told to stop taking their medicine.

The Children’s HIV Association surveyed 19 doctors and health professionals working with babies and children in England; its members had reported hearing anecdotal evidence of HIV patients deciding to stop taking their anti-retroviral drugs because their pastors had told them to do so.

Among 10 doctors who said they had encountered the problem in the last five years, 29 of their patients had reported being put under pressure to stop taking medicine and at least 11 had done so — via redwolf.newsvine.com

Fake cop hassles the wrong people in San Miguel County

A man driving a truck with police lights on top made a mistake Wednesday when he decided to make a fake police stop.

The two men he pulled over and accused of speeding on NM 104 in San Miguel County were actually State Police agents travelling in an unmarked truck.

When questioned by the State Police agents, John Shelton, 26, of Logan, who had a pistol on his hip, claimed to be a member of the New Mexico State Police Search and Rescue, an emergency medical tech and a fire fighter, and said he was being trained as a law enforcement officer — none of which would authorise him to make a traffic stop.

The real officers had police business to attend to and initially gave Shelton a warning and let him to. But they quickly determined they should try to find Shelton again and charge him impersonating an officer, according to a State Police spokesman.

When Shelton drove back by the officers, they flagged him down and he was arrested. The agents also determined that none of what Shelton had said about his connections to law enforcement was true.

The State Police are now asking for help in finding anyone else who may have been pulled over by Shelton — via redwolf.newsvine.com

Turkey: Telepathy linked to deaths

Telepathy could have been used to compel four young Turkish engineers to kill themselves, it’s been suggested.

That’s one explanation of the deaths of four workers at the defence giant Aselsan contained in a report presented to the PM Recep Tayyip Erdogan, according to reports. All four deaths, within the space of 14 months during 2006 and 2007, were initially recorded as suicides. The men had been undergoing psychological treatment before they died but doubts persisted from their sceptical families, reports newspaper Today’s Zaman. And last year the Inspection Board of the Prime Ministry launched a fresh probe.

Included in its report was a study by a neuropsychologist, Nevzat Tarhan, who asks prosecutors not to disregard the possibility of telepathy causing severe distress and headaches in the victims, giving them a tendency to kill themselves, reports Hurriyet Daily News. Brainwaves could have been sent from 1.5km away, Hurriyet quotes Tarhan as saying. The report apparently doesn’t offer a clear answer as to whether the deaths were murder or suicide but it’s been submitted to the Ankara Chief Prosecutor’s Office for further investigation — via redwolf.newsvine.com

Weird

The World’s Most Homoerotic Homophobes Are Now Mounting a Giant Pole in Tiny Pink Shorts

In France, there wages a (bizarre and perhaps unintentional) war among the country’s anti-gay groups. In this war, there is apparently a race to to be, at once, more homoerotic and more homophobic than the next anti-gay group. Today we meet La Manif Pour Tous, who decided a bunch of very fit shirtless men straddling a giant pole is the best way to flaunt their anti-gay stance.

Shirtless guys … on top of one another … clutching a giant pole … in pink shorts and those guys are protesting gay marriage? This has to be some kind of joke, your brain is probably telling you. But we kid you not. Those men are holding the logo La Manif Pour Tous, an anti-gay group in France, and are featured on the group’s Facebook page. And while those boys look like an ad for a gay adult summer camp, this trend of homoerotic homophobia is actually going on in France — via redwolf.newsvine.com

Do try not to get your penis stuck in a toaster. A message from the fire brigade

It sounds barmy doesn’t it, the London Fire Brigade telling people about men putting their genitals where they shouldn’t? But the fact of the matter is people put body parts in strange places all the time, get stuck, and then call us out to release them. We’re not just talking one or two; our crews have been called out to over 1,300 unusual incidents since 2010 — that’s more than one a day.

Granted, they’re not all penis-related, but some are very silly: people with loo seats on their heads, a man with his arm trapped in a portable toilet, adults stuck in children’s toys, someone with a test tube on his finger. And a lot of handcuffs. More than 25 people call us out every year to release them from these. I don’t know whether it’s the Fifty Shades effect or not, but I can tell you this, most are Fifty Shades of Red by the time we turn up in a big, red fire engine with our equipment to cut them out — via redwolf.newsvine.com

Gang tattoo leads to a murder conviction

The process was routine. LA County Sheriff’s homicide investigator Kevin Lloyd was flipping through snapshots of tattooed gang members.

Then one caught his attention.

Inked on the pudgy chest of a young Pico Rivera gangster who had been picked up and released on a minor offence was the scene of a 2004 liquor store slaying that had stumped Lloyd for more than four years.

Each key detail was right there: the Christmas lights that lined the roof of the liquor store where 23-year-old John Juarez was gunned down, the direction his body fell, the bowed street lamp across the way and the street sign — all under the chilling banner of RIVERA KILLS, a reference to the gang Rivera-13.

As if to seal the deal, below the collarbone of the gang member known by the alias Chopper was a miniature helicopter raining down bullets on the scene.

Lloyd’s discovery of the tattoo in 2008 launched a bizarre investigation that soon led to Anthony Garcia’s arrest for the shooting. Then sheriff’s detectives, posing as gang members, began talking to Garcia, 25, in his holding cell. They got a confession that this week led to a first-degree murder conviction in a killing investigators had once all but given up hope of solving — via redwolf.newsvine.com

Austrian man charged after 56 human skulls are found at his home

An Austrian man is to be charged with disturbing the peace of the dead after police found 56 human skulls and 55 other bones at a museum he had created in his home.

Police in the province of Burgenland said the relics were taken without authorisation from a church cemetery and had now been returned.

The 47-year-old man, whose name was not immediately released, came to the attention of police when he tried to sell three skulls and two thigh bones at a flea market — via redwolf.newsvine.com

Scandal in China over the museum with 40,000 fake artefacts

A museum in China has a problem. It seems to have a few fakes in its vast collection. Well, as many as 40,000. Everything it owns may be nothing more than a mass of crude forgeries.

Wei Yingjun, a consultant to the Jibaozhai Museum in Jizhou, about 150 miles south of Beijing, insists the situation is not that bad. He is quite positive that 80 or even more pieces out of tens of thousands in the museum are authentic.

In spite of this sterling defence, regional authorities in Hebei province have closed the museum amid a national scandal driven by some very free speech on China’s internet. One online satirist suggested it should reopen as a museum of fakes — If you can’t be the best, why not be the worst?

Maybe that’s a good idea. All museums have a couple of fakes in their collections. Sometimes they own up to them, sometimes they put any dubious artefacts in a dark storeroom – and sometimes they don’t know. But a collection that its accusers claim is entirely inauthentic is in its way a masterpiece of museology — via redwolf.newsvine.com

Man dies after cow falls through roof of a house in Caratinga, Brazil

A cow has fallen through the roof of a house in Brazil, killing a man and narrowly missing his wife.

The cow was grazing on a hill behind the house in the town of Caratinga when it stepped onto the asbestos roof which collapsed under its weight.

A 45-year-old man was lying in bed when the animal fell on him.

He was taken to hospital but died a day later — via redwolf.newsvine.com