Chickens from Above

The lovely Feòrag reminded me about an amusing tale I read about in one of Murdoch’s propaganda rags last week.

A couple of houses in Newcastle have had roof tiles broken by chickens. The article above fails to mention that the chooks were both frozen and the houses only a mile apart.

With the second chicken, the cops gave up on the theory that the chickens had fallen from the external luggage locker of a passing light aircraft. I’m left wondering who carries a frozen chicken with them when flying, perhaps it’s common with Newcastle law enforcement.

The plods now think the chickens are being launched by someone with a giant rubber band. My mother favours a larger version of the DIY orange launcher. I reckon someone’s made themselves a trebuchet, mostly because I really like trebuchets.

I expect there’s more frozen chicken ordnance that was probably scoffed by the household dogs after impact or was assumed to be the work of kids. As there were only the two that incidents that damaged the roofs that were brought to the attention of the local constabulary.

A third chook has since landed, prompting the amusing quote from the homeowner: The cat found it first and he was pretty excited about it, but Police are still baffled.

They have managed to come up with an even dumber and more convoluted theory to explain the situation. This time a supermarket is dumping frozen chooks at the city dump and birds are carrying them off and dropping them in flight. Leaving aside the fact that the chooks are still quite well frozen from the time they leave the supermarket freezer to the time they land on the roof, we really don’t have birds big enough to cart off an entire frozen foul.

The cops up Newcastle way are looking decidedly silly over their crackpot ideas. It would be nice if they inverted the amount of energy they’ve expended in coming up with increasing stupid theories with actually looking for an answer, but I can’t see that happening until a chook lands on the bonnet of their Police cruiser.

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