The year I learned that Christmas did not, in fact, originate as a celebration of my amazing ability to temporarily transform into a
good child for a few weeks was the year my grandparents took me to see their church’s nativity play. My dad’s parents were heavily involved in their church and felt that, at six years old, it was time that I start appreciating the miracle of Jesus instead of using Christmas as an excuse to whore out my integrity for presents. Even though my parents weren’t religious, they let me go to the play because it was important to my grandparents.
From my grandparents’ flowery explanation and frequent use of the word
miracle, I went in expecting to be blown away by the production. Unfortunately, the church moms and the pathetic excuses for actors that they called their offspring failed to bring the characters to life in the way I had hoped. And the story just seemed to center around everyone being really impressed with Jesus and there wasn’t much suspense and not a single battle scene — via Hyperbole and a Half