Had an interesting trip home on the train yesterday.
Few things annoy me more than wankers holding really loud conversations on their mobile phones, but yesterday’s moron at least managed entertainment value.
Not content with sharing his conversation with the top floor of the carriage, he headed down to the doorway where he could be properly heard by the entire carriage. In less than six seconds I’ve guessed that this guy is either a compulsive liar or the world’s dumbest undercover cop.
I once spent a rather enjoyable lunch hour with a compulsive liar. It helped that I had been forewarned ahead of time for the novelty aspect of watching a wingnut in full swing. Train Guy
was much the same, but his insanity revolved around law enforcement instead of the music industry.
Train Guy
was loudly whinging to Sarge
that his nine month undercover drug operation had been screwed up by Constable Kay Campbell (who may or may not be two different people) and he now had to deal with a million dollar legal bill.
There were lots of drug references thrown in, a carefully spelled out Lebanese name and mention that the parents of the owner of said Lebanese name had been unwittingly driving about for a week with a large quantity of heroin hidden in the boot of their car.
It seems that the arrival of Constable Campbell (added to the mix at Sarge’s
request against the loud protests of Train Guy
) tipped the drug guys off and the heroin got flushed.
There were a couple of highlights to the phone conversation.
One being that Dumb Teenager
, sitting a couple of seats in front of me, had a panic attack and departed the train early. He wasn’t much smarter than Train Guy
, as he left in quite a fluster. He could have taken the exit at the other end of the carriage, but Dumb Teenager
insisted on walking past Train Guy
and yelling Fucking cops
at the top of his voice from the platform.
The other gem was Train Guy
trying to explain to Sarge
that he’d had a tip off that just might bail his worthless arse out of this mess and it involved something going down at: the docks… You know, the wharves. Where the containers ships come in.
I’m really hoping he’s a compulsive liar, because I’d hate to think there were cops out there who were this mind-numbingly stupid.
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lucie
22 August 2005 at 1.00 pm
Hey I think I might’ve also overheard this guy ages ago on the train. He was calling his girfriend to meet him somewhere with some new clothes for him to change into before he went on another drug bust. Then he called his sarge to say, hey I’d like the night off cos I’ve been on stake out for 3 days straight, but you’ve only got rookies left and they’ll balls it up, so I’d better go and make sure they don’t fuck it up.
He was talking very loudly as we were going through the airport tunnel, one would think that he’d at least wait until out of tunnel to carry on coversation with sarge.
Red Wolf
22 August 2005 at 4.10 pm
That has to be the same . Same place, same moronic conversation. I think he started up in the tunnel, so he must be getting on at Green Square. I wonder if there’s a psychiatric facility around there that works with out-patients