Crank Letters to Corporate America

Consumer Joe is a collection of crank/prank letters sent by screenwriter Paul Davidson to a variety of gigantic corporations, asking, for example, if he should call poison control after swallowing toothpaste, or if the Barbie hot-tub would be suitable for a garden party. The letters are genuinely funny, and the clueless bureaucratese in the responses is often equally good, but best of all are the responses from corporate letter-answerers who have winkled out his game and are playing along with their own sly humour:

Our research and development department went to work right away in the smoothie lab experimenting with your concoctions.

The Tuna Melt smoothie looks promising. We found the key to be white albacore tuna in oil, lots of mayonnaise and some powdered cheese. However, the Thanksgiving smoothie (turkey, cranberry, and gravy) is posing some challenges. Your recommendation to heat it up would require us to install microwave ovens at all locations.

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