Twitter has allowed us to see directly into the brain of 50 Cent. And it’s not pretty

When the exciting new thing called social media first came along, it promised to do what years of reality television, forests’ worth of glossy magazines and countless fish-suppers’ worth of paparazzi shots failed quite to manage: it would allow celebrities to show us The Real Them.

If you ever wondered what really went on in the heads of the people you are used to goggling at on telly, you needed wonder no longer: now, thanks to the wonder of Twitter, we would be able to SEE DIRECTLY INTO THEIR BRAINS.

It seems to work; at least for celebrities who write their own tweets. You discover that Simon Pegg is funny and nice, Graham Linehan intelligent and politically conscious, William Gibson geeky and sociable, Amy Winehouse a bit erratic, and 50 Cent . . . well, you discover that 50 Cent is an absolutely epic plonker.

A very useful supplementary feed – @English50Cent – interprets his sayings for those less with it. For instance, when Fiddy found himself having an online scrap with some pre-teen Justin Bieber fans, he tweeted: “I’m a take my belt off and beat one of you little motherfuckers were your mama and daddy at anyway bad ass kids.” @English50Cent translated: “I am going to remove my trousers and attack some children” — via

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