Battle Cry!

Generate your own battle cry.

I got lumbered with the not terribly fear inspiring:

I’m going to reduce you to ash, and sell you as spice!

I was a wee bit miffed, picturing my enemies on the battlefield being in serious danger of dying from laughter. But then Brian cheered me up by pointing out:

If somebody was screaming that at me, and the wind whipped their duster/trench/overcoat open to reveal dozens of tiny Schillings or Lawry’s bottles, I’d turn heel and bail.

The teeny spice bottles are a given. So, provided I remember to wear the trenchcoat and drag a wind machine into battle, you will all bow before me in fear.

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3 Comments


  1. lucie

    19 November 2003 at 5.42 pm

    Hark! Who is that, running through the desert! It is Lucie, hands clutching a meaty axe! And with a cruel scream, her voice cometh:
    “Ares, God of War, be praised! I lay waste to all I see until there is no more hope!!”
    I am so impressed with my battle cry.

    Reply

  2. lucie

    19 November 2003 at 5.46 pm

    Running along the mountains, carrying a thorned whip, cometh Lucie Elizabeth! And she gives a mighty roar:
    “I’m seriously going to spank you into a new dimension of pain!”
    And that’s what I get if I use my middle and first name.

    Reply

  3. Red Wolf

    20 November 2003 at 1.09 pm

    Whole name and I’m rampaging amidst the desert, swinging a piece of chainlink fence, giving the bloodthirsty grunt:

    I’m seriously going to smack you until you’re bright blue!

    Minus the middle name sees me skulking through the freeway, carrying a mighty sword and booming in a howl:

    I’m going to spank you faster than the speed of sound!

    First name only and I’m prowling over the steppes, carrying a thorned whip, giving the vengeful cry:

    I’m going to bludgeon you beyond your expiration date!

    First and middle name and I’m prowling over the terrain, clutching two hardened pitas, screaming mightily:

    I’m going to smack you like it’s a new extreme sport, and grin like a fucking maniac!

    And leaving the space in my last name and I’m sprinting over the hotel lobby, arming with those bloody pitas again and roaring gutterally:

    Hail the blood-letting! I slice through beating hearts until Satan himself emerges from the pit to thank me!

    The last is the best, but the original quote does have me prowling on the fields, clutching a jewelled meat hammer.
    There seems to be quite a bit of fetishism to the quotes. Plus, it looks like some of the phrases have been translated from German to English by someone who has a limited grasp on English profanity. But I still want that jewelled meat hammer

    Reply

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